| Loves It! |
[06 Jun 2006|04:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"I'm Better" - Ashley Parker Angel |
] |
so sunday night me, john, momo, mark, joseph, ron, and ray went to fusion in fullerton. it was the grand opening so there werent that many ppl, but i still had fun cuz i got drunk! as usual! then the next day, monday, i had to get up like at 930 to go get john and interview at disneyland. the interview went well and we both got hired for attractions. we dont know where exactly, but its somewhere in adventureland or frontier land. ahaha. loves it. and then we stayed there FOREVER to fill out ALL the paperwork! ugh! we left like at 4! and then we went swimming at my place, then went to marks. and guess what we did. drank! ahaha. i love it! orientation... or "traditions" as they call it lol is this saturday for me and john at 10 am for 8 hrs. so this friday may be my last for sure day im going to rage. and saturday may be the last time i go to john w/ d land since we most likely will never work the same attraction or shift. but im excited. and my last final is tomorrow at 3:50, and im done. then summers here. woo hoo! party! work! money! boys! alcohol! loves it! <3333
|
|
| Weekend Update! |
[04 Jun 2006|04:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"4ever" - The Veronicas |
] |
so im back on lj... imma update more foten cuz its summer and it gets boring. mmmmk, here goes nothing.
friday: uhm... john and i went to d land to apply. it took quite a while so by the time they asked us to interview we had to reschedule cuz i had to go to class. so we have interviews tomorrow morning (monday) at 1130. then we went clubbing w/ mark and ron to rage. it was fun. i met marc, this guy i was interested in. it was good times.
saturday: so saturday sucked major ass, till the end of the night. First i had to plant all this shit outside in like 100 degree weather, but that wasnt so bad spending time w/my cousin and making fun of my dad. lol.
marc and i were supposed to hang out, but i knew something bad was gonna happen. i could just tell... call it womens intuition if u want. ahaha jp. well i IM'd him asking whats going on and basically he said that hes just here for summer, and he doesnt wanna get into anything too serious... or commit. but hey.. he said i was cute and he was attracted to me... and that part of him wanted that. but w/e. that sorta eased the pain of the whole situtaion. what kinda irritates me is the fact that he cut it off from the begining. the fact that we didnt even have time to get to know eachother, or even really hang out. i say get to know me first, hang out w/ me, have some fun, and then decide if i'm not what you're looking for cuz you're only here for summer. but hey, everyone has their own way of dealing w/ certain situations. thats just not the way i wouldve handled it. so i was pretty bummed out. i mean marc was really really good looking. and what i knew about him, i really did like. meh... so i called scarlett... and we talked and she just helped me collect myself again.
and then i went to out to rancho. we went to a little pool party, then applebees, then to marks house.
sunday: i did nothing today. got a job interview tomorrow at d land. but tonight rancho is going to fusion. in more detail, mark, ron, me, john, momo, and josephare going to this new clubs grand opening in fullerton. so i cant wait to drink. woo hoo!
"4ever" - The Veronicas
Here we are so what you gonna do?
Do I gotta spell it out for you?
I can see that you got other plans for tonight,
But I don’t really care.
Size me up you know I beat the best.
Tick tock no time to rest.
Let them say what their gonna say,
But tonight, I just don’t really care
Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever.
Let me show you all the things that we could do.
You know you wanna be together,
And I wanna spend the night with you.
Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah.
Come with me tonight,
We could make the night last 4ever.
I’ve seen it all, I’ve got nothing to prove.
Come on baby just make your move.
Follow me lets leave it all behind tonight,
Like we just don’t care.
Let me take you on the ride of your life,
That’s what I said alright.
They can say what they wanna say
'Cause tonight I just don’t even care.
Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever.
Let me show you all the things that we could do.
You know you wanna be together,
And I wanna spend the night with you.
Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah.
Come with me tonight,
We could make the night last 4ever.
Lets pretend you’re mine.
We could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah, yeah.
You got what I like.
You got what I like, I got what you like.
Oh come on,
Just one taste and you’ll want more.
So tell me what your waiting for.
Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever.
Let me show you all the things that we could do.
You know you wanna be together,
And I wanna spend the night with you.
Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah.
Come with me tonight,
We could make the night last 4ever.
Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever.
Let me show you all the things that we could do.
You know you wanna be together,
And I wanna spend the night with you.
Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah.
Come with me tonight,
We could make the night last 4ever.
|
|
|
[29 Apr 2006|01:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Natasha Bedingfield - "Wild Horses" |
] |
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD LYRICS
"Wild Horses"
I feel these four walls closing in
My face up against the glass, Im looking out...
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast, how do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
There's greener pastures I'm thinking about
Wide open spaces far away
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
[Chorus:]
Wild horses I want to be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses
I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare back, care free along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head first, headlong without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
[Chorus:]
Wild horses I want to be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses
I wanna run too
Wrecklessly abandoning my self before you
I wanna open up my heart, tell him how I feel
[Chorus:]
Wild horses I want to be like you
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses
I wanna run with the wild horses
|
|
| random |
[24 Oct 2005|08:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Natasha Bedingfield - "These Words" |
] |
im tired. i missed all my classes today and i just hung out @ the pride center. at the end of the day it was just me and chester in the pride center talking till 7pm. now im bored, tired, and feel that i wasted my day away. i wanna do something fun tomorrow. i need to make new friends... theres nothing wrong w/ the old ones... i just want more. my friend steven thats in guard w/ me just posted a bulletin on myspace and it sed i was a sweetheart and really funny... so that just made my day. come entertain me anyone. be my new friend...
oh, and my ex is being retarded... it annoys me. whenever shit happens its always my fault. its so hard to even be friends w/ all the fighting.
|
|
| missing... |
[04 Oct 2005|10:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Very Last Moment In Time" - Lindsay Lohan |
] |
hmmmmm... somethings missing in my life. theres this empty/lonely feeling. as if theres a void of some sort that cant be filled by my dear friends. i can tell the next month is going to be extremely difficult for me. i'll have no time for myself, or my friends, and especially no time to attempt to fill this "void" in my life. this wkend and next wkend we have back to back colorguard camps. these are fri6pm-10pm, sat10am-10pm, and sun10am-5pm in addition to wed practices 6-10pm. so im stressing about working w/ our world class staff that we're flying in and paying sooo much for! and if ill have time for friends, school, romantic interests, and myself as well. october doesnt sound too appealing @ this point in time, but im sure i can salvage something out of it. basically it balls to the walls at this point... w/ everything... school, boys, friends, and especially guard. i gotta take on this month w/ no regrets, manage my time wisely, and make sure every second that isnt spent @ pracitce, is used productively... not just in doing hw and such, but making memories w/ the ppl that i love in the little time i have. i hope errrrrrything goes well.....
|
|
| Ahhhhhhhhh! |
[10 Sep 2005|03:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"One In This World" - Haylie Duff |
] |
i have so much going on in my head and in my heart right now! so many thoughts and feelings that are difficult to put into words. and if i even attempted to put these feelings in to words, it would turn into a several page essay about the one thing i regret doing in my life. so ill just save myself the drama and say that things arent what id liek them to be at this point in time and in my life. i havent been able to fall asleep right away every night since sunday! i just lay in bed, tossing and turning, and thinking about this one thing thats been on my mind!!! ugh! its really eating away at me! and ive cried almost daily about it! im just... just worried that this will be bothering me the rest of my life! and i wish there was something i can do about it, but theres absolutely nothing whatsoever i can do. i guess "things happen for a reason" but sometimes i just wonder and have to ask what was the reason for this and why?????????????? oh well... :( im tired and im off to bed!
***********
"One In This World" - Haylie Duff
I've been searching for
A heart that needs a heart like mine
I've been reaching for
A hand that understands
I've been waiting for
Someone that I can love that loves me
Loves me for the one that I am
Someone to hold me when I'm lonley
Someone to keep the rain away
They say
They say
[Chorus]
There's one in this world for everyone
One heart
One soul to walk beside you
One in this life to share your love
One touch
To touch the heart inside you
One to reach for each night
One to trust with your life
That's what I believe
You're the one
The one in this world for me
I've been praying that
Someone like you would rescue me
I've been hoping that
I'll find my way to you
I've been dreaming that
Someday I'll finally find somebody
Somebody to make my dreams come ture
Someone to hold me when I'm lonley
Someone to give my whole world to
They say
They say
[Chorus]
There's one in this world for everyone
One heart
One soul to walk beside you
One in this life to share your love
One touch
To touch the heart inside you
One to reach for each night
One to trust with your life
That's what I believe
You're the one
The one in this world for me
Somebody to hold me when I'm lonely
Someone to tell my secrets to
Someone who's living for me only
Someone to give my whole world to
They say
They say
They say
They say
[Chorus]
There's one in this world for everyone
One heart
One soul to walk beside you
One in this life to share your love
One touch
To touch the heart inside you
One to reach for each night
One to trust with your life
That's what I believe
You're the one
The one in this world for me
You're the one
You're the one in this world for me
You're the one
|
|
| UNDISCOVERED |
[30 Aug 2005|01:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ashlee Simpson |
] |
Ashlee Simpson - Undiscovered Lyrics
Take it back, take it all back now
The things I gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips,
I miss that now
I can't try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave, excuses I made for you
I'm broken in two
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
Don't walk away
Touch me now how I wanna feel something so real
Please remind me, my love, and take me back
Cuz I'm so in love with what we were
I'm not breathing, I'm suffocating without you
Do you feel it too?
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
When I'm in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door,
It's then I know my heart is whole
Theres a million reasons why I cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
'Cause I don't want to be alone
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you, I need you
Cuz I can't fake
And I can't hate
But it's my heart
Thats about to break
You're all I need
I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed
Would you listen please?
I give in
I breathe out
I want you, there's no doubt
I freak out, I'm left out
Without you, I'm without
I'm crossed out
I'm kicked out
I cry out
I reach out
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
|
|
| a weekend of colorguard & fun |
[25 Jul 2005|11:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Listen To Your Heart" - D.H.T. |
] |
thursday was fun at tigerheat. got to spend time w/ tyler as well as john and mark. fun!
friday i went to rage and ended up seeing some colorguard ppl that were supposed to be @ the workshops the next morning @ 10 am... so i didnt feel so bad for going to rage knowing i had a long day of colorguard coming up. then near the end of the night tim, john, sebastian and i danced the rest of the night shirtless...it was HOT! then i met geo from the 70s house on mtv... we took pix, and he told me to add him on myspace.
saturday was diamante workshops. it was HOT! both temperature and just the positive attitude of everything. mario (the instructor) is a genius when it comes to tricks and writing work... and im hoping i make it cuz theres gonna be some hot ass moves in the show! so the day went well...then i went home, rested, then drove to norwalk, ate in n out w/ tyler, met his friend davie, then met brent and brett at a busted ass party in santa fe springs. and now i call tyler ty...just cuz i LOVE it an he does too.
sunday was back to diamante workshops where we again learned some hot work and dd it to music this time. mario and austin (the tech) said ive gotten more flexible really quick so that was good. the day was long and hard, but i love everyone there already!!!
monday was a much needed day of rest. my entire body is sore! i just watched some of the 1st season fo laguna beach! then it came!!!!! the first episode of the 2nd season of laguna beach! it was HOT! cant wait for more. butnow im tired and i gotta sleep!
|
|
| a short entry... |
[20 Jul 2005|12:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Listen Tou Your Heart" - DHT |
] |
my list
- hung out w/ tyler saturday - had fun!
- been working out w/ john often - my body's getting better.
- went to bjs then the BLOCK w/ john, mark, camille, and taylor yesterday - FUN!
- wanna go to TigerHeat on thurs but its Tim's bday so idk - tim is more important than TH or any stupid boy
- wanna go to rage fri but i have guard stuff at 10am the next day - maybe i'll go and leave early
- got DIAMANTE winterguard workshops this wkend - nervous...i hear were dancing for 3 HOURS!!!
alltogether id say the feelings of the week are lost, bored, nervous... yet i still manage to have fun w/ friends. thats all. with all that said and done... 2 things to say...
"Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances...sometimes it's now or never..."
"Live like it's the last moon rising, scream just like no one's there, lose all of my defenses, hold you, touch you, love you, like it's the very last moment in time..."
|
|
| LOTS OF CATCHING UP TO DO!!! |
[12 Jul 2005|09:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lethargic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Cater To You" - Destinys Child |
] |
so its been about 2 months since my last entry. i need to update more!
so mark and i have been broken up for almost 2 months...the relationship lasted about a month but we dated since october. anywho, there was drama last wkend when he called me drunk and told me all this shit. i cried, hung up, and there was a fight and all. then this wkend at the party he said hi like nothing happened, so i pulled him aside and we talked...he apologized and now were friends again.
on to other things...ive been clubbing and partying a lot, which i love, and ive seen pacific crests drum corp show twice and i LOVE it. i regret not marching this summer, but im still sticking to my excuse that i have no money and have to go to school...cuz both are true.
anywho... onto boys... theres this guy tyler that i met a while ago on myspace. i saw him at tigerheat like 2 wks ago, then i actually met him and hung out a bit at TH. anywho i was totally interested and hes handsome so i wanted to hang out. so that nite at TH he was like "im meeting my friend jeff" and i think nothing of it. anywho, we planned on hanging out yesterday (monday) but it was his dads b day and we didnt wanna be on a time restriction so we moved it to today (tuesday). so we go eat at bjs, then go to best buy and he mentions that he has to go to disneyland w/ jeff and im like ok. i was kinda aggravated cuz we moved our hang out to today so we can spend more time together and we ended up spending less. anywho, im taking him home so he can go to d land w/ jeff and he totally starts talking about jeff and how jeff likes him and yadda yadda. here i am thinking jeff was just a friend and im all interested in tyler and having a retarded HS crush (i guess you can call it infatuation cuz i dont know him well enough to LIKE him but i LIKE what i do know about him) when really jeff and him are like talking i guess. and the thing is like, i know flirting and i flirt w/ppl and so does tyler, but to me tyler was like FLIRTING...like hardcore like more than i do...so i was like ok....yay...but i guess its more like ok, NO!!!!!!!!!!!! hmmmmmmmm...well, anyways it was a bitter ending to our hangout when i drove off then sat in over an hour of traffic. and i was too tired to go clubbing tonight...ugh!!!!!!!!! w/e... but i still want him! haha ill get him. ppl who know me know that i dont give up easily when it comes to boys...
sometimes i just wish things were so much easier. like ppl were easier to read, and no one played games. idk if "games" is the right word; ok its not; but i just wish...well idk...i guess thats why theyre called wishes...cuz they hardly ever come true! blah.
at least DIAMANTE winteguard camps were cancelled this wkend. one more wkend of fun!
i was reading an old entry like 2 or 3 entries back and i found this...just thinking...thats all...
"i started talking to mark again like last wk. and then were going out this friday. we had a long overdue talk about our feelings this sunday. and weve decided to go out again and see what happens again. (fyi, mark and i dated for 4 months then broke it off before the winterguard season started). but im happy!!!!! and this entry is titled "things ive learned..." for a reason. among dating, flirting, being single, taken, and everything else in the gay world ive learned that im always trying to get something better and am never satisfied. this may seem like a good thing, but really, it isnt. ive learned that one guy may be hot, but an asshole, and another may be nice, and ugly. lol. and ive learned that i miss mark thru all of this dating or time away from him during the winterguard season. ive learned that there is no perfect man. chosing mark is not settling for less, but me finally realizing all of these things ive learned. i need stability. and others cant provide that. haha. marks been there for me all the time, and no one else has. im glad i learned all this, but am a little dissappointed that it took me a while to notice this, and that i hurt mark in the process. BUT, im thankful that hes STILL here, and hes forgiving, and giving me a...what is it? 4th chance. lol. THX MARK!"
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mistakenthought's journal